Golf Axioms

Golf is a game of enigmas, dicotamys, contradictions, frustrations, rewards, failure, and above all honor.  Here are some fun ‘truisms’ for the days of our lives.


1 Never try to keep more than 300 separate thoughts in your mind during your swing.  

2 If you’re afraid a full shot might reach the green while the foursome ahead of you is still putting out, you have two options: you can immediately shank a lay-up or you can wait until the green is clear and top a ball halfway there.

3 The less skilled the player, the more likely he is to share his ideas about the golf swing.

4 No matter how bad you are playing, it is always possible to play worse.  

5 It is surprisingly easy to hole a thirty foot putt. For a 10.

6 Counting on your opponent to inform you when he breaks a rule is like expecting him to make fun of his own haircut.  

7 Nonchalant putts count the same as chalant putts

8 To calculate the speed of a player’s downswing, multiply the speed of his back-swing by his handicap; i.e., back-swing 20 mph, handicap 15, downswing = 300 mph.

9 One of my personal favorites:
There are two things you can learn by stopping your back-swing at the top and checking the position of your hands: how many hands you have, and which one is wearing the glove.

10 A good drive on the 18th hole has stopped many a golfer from giving up the game.

11 A good golf partner is one who’s always slightly worse than you are…. that’s why I get so many calls to play with friends. 

If you interpret these to fit your day, you’ll understand why the game is so amazing.  Ever tried it?

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